The Mouse Muses

I’m going to let you into a secret…

Some people still believe that eating mouse pie will cure bedwetting.

Well, I’m a mouse through and through and it hasn’t helped me one bit…that’s probably too much information isn’t it?

Oh dear this hasn’t started at all well, this is supposed to be an introduction and I’ve already embarrassed myself!

Right, well strike that image from your thoughts if you can…I’ll start again…

I’m little, very little, so little that I’m probably the smallest animal in the jungle…ever.

Being this small however can have its advantages, for example I get to see the inside of things, like trees, walls and toilets (maybe that’s not such a good example) anyway being so small usually means I can go unnoticed. But as you can well imagine there are disadvantages.

Like trying to stay ALIVE!!

I’m so small that I’m forever trying to avoid being squashed by walking boots, or falling nuts or jumping monkeys! Honestly, the jumping monkeys are the worst; I swear they do it on purpose!

Anyway, one of things you may not know about me is that there is nothing, not a thing, no matter where you go or what you see, there is not a thing in this whole wide wonderful world that I won’t or can’t eat. Never. No sir. Nothing at all.  Unless it’s another mouse, I couldn’t go that far…unless I was starving, on a desert island with nothing else to…what is wrong with me? Sorry..anyway…the point is I have the sharpest, toughest set of teeth ever which means I can get through anything I want.

Yesterday for example, I chewed my way through two bars of soap, four candles a box of wheetabix and a double bass. Needless to say, I had stomach cramps for the rest of the day, but that’s beside the point.

So it’s not all bad for me. And I’m a nice little thing really. My Mum used to call me Pinky because she thought I was so cute.

But let me just tell you one last thing, well two things really…things I really can’t stand…oh and it happens all too often for my liking.

I really can’t cope with screaming and I really really dislike being picked up by my tail! And if the two things happen at the same time, goodness me! That’s enough to drive me really really really loopy!

So please, promise me one thing…well two things really. if you ever see me or any other mouse hanging around, please don’t scream, a gentle yelp is enough to send us scurrying on our way and whatever you do… no tail pulling ok?  

With enor-mouse gratitude,

The Mouse.